new office II

We’re almost completely moved into our new digs across the street from our old digs at work. The new building is newly renovated, the old building was renovated eons ago. The old building is three row houses someone sewed together, the new building is an old bank building that we completely gutted…and then put back pretty much exactly as it was, only more annoyingly. Although they were forced to gut the entire building by the presence of asbestos and other harmful chemicals, we were still not permitted to oversee the details of the renovation even though we had some very particular needs.

In fact, it seemed no one was actually in charge. The architect was making decisions. The university was making decisions. The state was making decisions. The technology people were making decisions. Were any of them talking to one another? I’m going to say no.

First, there is, apparently, a state regulation governing the size faculty offices must be. I wonder what that regulation says, or if it actually really exists. We all know that faculty offices vary greatly in size from building to building from university to university. I suppose since this was a new construction, there might be something saying how large, or small, our offices must be. So let’s just concede there is such a regulation. I’m wondering who wrote the regulation and what they thought we do. Perhaps regulations simply cover people at or below a certain pay grade – but that couldn’t possibly include faculty since our pay is all over the scale and we are ungraded. But it certainly seems that the regulation is about people doing a job where they never (and I mean never) have any need to work collaboratively, see students, or essentially have office visitors for any reason.

My diminutive office affords almost no space for me to set up any chair other than my own. And my whale sized office furniture only adds to that problem. As I inhabit the large C described by my desk system, I can put another chair facing into the opening of the C. Problem with that, of course, is that neither my visitor nor I then have access to any writing surface and so there we are, sitting among a sea of desk, writing in our laps.

My neighbor’s office is slightly larger than mine. Slightly. About seven inches. But in the land of teenytiny offices seven inches makes a world of difference. She can place her two small prison-made chairs in front of her desk system. They are backed up almost touching her bookcases, but they are there. Whoever sits in them is knees to the desk-front, however, since, again, no one thought that we might be having visitors where we’d both have to be working at the desk. Desks exist where a second person can sit tucked in under a desk area. But do faculty have these desks? No. They have been given to higher administrators – people who rarely see students.

Never mind that the sort of work we do in my department often requires teachers to collect and review large projects – mounted posters, constructed packaging, formally constructed proposals. There can be no thought to ever laying them out in your office for viewing. But neither is there really room to even store them here in your teenytiny office between the time you collect them and the time you drag them down the hall to an open classroom where you can spread them out to look at them.

The work area in the office might work as a cubicle – a more open space where if you needed someone to come see you they could drag a chair from the adjoining cubicle and sit half in, half out of the entry way. But as an office it’s simply a goldfish sized bowl – the kind you win at the fair. The ones you’re supposed to take home and get rid of after you transfer the poor fish to a larger bowl. Obviously whoever wrote the regulations about faculty office sizes had no real idea what faculty actually do. Or maybe these notions of collaborating with colleagues and seeing students really are passé.